I greatly appreciate those workplaces, and even countries, that have the option for women to listen to their bodies.

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If I know that during one day each month I’m completely useless at work – would it be the work community’s benefit that I would stay at home?

First a quick recap on the first day when my period starts. I have massive lower back pain, I can’t feel my legs most of the time and I feel dizzy. I need to concentrate on that day especially to eat and drink more carefully to cope with the grogginess – and to have always painkillers with me, if the ache gets too massive during the day.

So this is chronic pain monthly. I know what to expect every time – I know my body.

And it’s not only physical. I gotta admit that in the beginning, I don’t feel like myself either. There’s this bitchier demon version of me, who has nerves of a hungry hyena. If somebody happens to ask me what’s up on that day, I might snap back “NOTHING” and continue my lonely wander in the darkness of the day.

I also feel mentally sloppy – and I feel uncomfortable and ashamed about that. I don’t want to admit to my co-workers that I’m menstruating and YES – it’s influencing in my work. Come on, I’m a professional.

But I’m also a woman, and I hate when people say “it’s not an excuse to be a woman”. This not an excuse – it’s a question of productivity, and that word doesn’t exist on my vocabulary on that exact day. I’m in pain, I’m sending negative vibes around me – and I can’t control it. It’s like having the most horrible mental hangover, but missing the epic party before.

Now somebody probably thinks “we all have bad days and still have to go to work”. You probably haven’t ever had a period huh?

After all, menstruating is not really my own choice.

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